Episode Summary
In this episode of The Out & About Podcast, Tiffany and Lauren unpack one of the most common questions financial services firms bring to the table: how to generate more client and COI (centers of influence) referrals without turning the experience into a transactional or automated tactic. They talk about what they see working across RIAs, payroll companies, lenders, and banking teams, and why authentic, people-first outreach still outperforms scripted requests or mass referral emails. (And yes, Tiffany’s dog made a brief cameo during the recording!)
Throughout the conversation, they explore why referrals rely on trust, how to identify your “true COIs,” and why nurturing relationships should be 90% of the work.
Key Takeaways:
This episode breaks down how referrals really work in financial services and why the most effective strategies feel personal, thoughtful, and rooted in genuine value.
- Problem statement: Many firms rely heavily on referrals but struggle to generate them consistently. Automated “ask for a referral” tactics fall flat, and teams may be unaware of their true COIs or how to nurture the right relationships in a meaningful way.
- Why it matters: Referrals are often a top source of new business, which is why many firms want to “do more of what’s working.” But that’s where they get stuck. Referrals rely on trust and genuine connection, so understanding how to create people-first experiences that naturally lead to being recommended is critical.
- Real‑life example: One client we work with recently wrote a guide to help people navigate a highly emotional life stage, then shared it not as a sales pitch but as a resource clients could pass along to someone who might need it. Instead of directly asking for referrals, they offered something genuinely helpful — naturally opening the door for clients to forward it to friends or family going through similar situations.
- A few moments that made us stop and think:
- Get real: The difference between adding value and asking for a referral is often timing and the authenticity behind it.
- Focus on referring the right clients: Even strong referral activity can create friction if it brings in people who aren’t aligned with your ideal client. Keeping your target clear helps the right relationships grow.
- Framing the ask matters: Instead of “Can you send us a referral?” share the impact you made and why you love doing the work. Clients respond when the conversation feels mission-driven, not transactional.
- Trinkets don’t drive referrals: Branded gifts can be a nice gesture but they won’t spark new business on their own. What moves someone to refer is feeling genuinely supported, understood, and helped — not receiving another logoed item.
Events can be slow to close: “Bring-a-friend” events and curated experiences can work but they rarely lead to immediate conversions. Their value comes from creating memorable interactions that strengthen relationships and open the door for future conversations.
Don’t Miss the ONE Thing You Should Go Do First!
- Stay authentic. Focus on nurturing real relationships before you think of making an ask. When outreach comes from a genuine place of adding value, referrals follow naturally.
Links & Resources
- Previous Episode #6: Financial Services SEO: What You Need to Know in an AI World
- Blog: How to Plan Strategic, Effective Events for Financial Services with Angela York and Elyse Stoner
- Blog: Why Emotionally Connecting with Clients is Good for Business in Financial Services with Brendan Frazier
- Thinking about client gifts? Check out the client-gifting article we referenced: Thinking Outside the Gift Box — the Art of Creative Client Gifting
Join Us!
- Want more practical ideas? Join the Out & About newsletter for fresh insights into financial services marketing and exclusive downloadable resources.
Transcript
Tiffany (00:10):
I feel like this is coming up in all our client conversations lately.
Lauren (00:13):
What I'm excited about is the opportunity to continue to lean back into the basics of just building authenticity offline and online as well.
Tiffany (00:24):
We remember what we do on a tactical day to day but we forget how it's impacting people. Hello everyone. Welcome back to The Out & About Podcast, where we break down all things marketing in financial services, especially what we're seeing and what we're not. I always say that wrong — what we're seeing working and the stuff that's not working, which is exactly what we're going to dive into today. So whether you've been in the marketing seat for your whole career or just sat down and are not sure where to start, we're here to support. So Lauren is with me today again, and we're talking about a very hot topic, client referrals. I feel like this is coming up in all our client conversations lately, how to get clients to bring in more business. So that's going to be a whole can of worms. So shall we dive in?
Lauren (01:16):
Yeah, let's do it. It's such a hot topic right now. Honestly, it's been a hot topic for a while but I feel like it's come up more and more. So something's in the water.
Tiffany (01:24):
Something's in the water. I know. Yeah. Well, we'll get into it. We have theories but what are you saying yes to? What are you excited about when it comes to client referrals?
Lauren (01:37):
Honestly, the authentic conversations that can happen around client referrals, which I know might sound kind of silly, but with the world of AI today and everything, feeling so just like em dash everywhere and plug and play, it just strips the human component. And I feel like the financial services industry at large is so about people, and lets not forget that, and referrals are so about people and trust. So what I'm excited about is the opportunity to continue to lean back into the original, the basics of just building authenticity offline and online as well.
Tiffany (02:17):
Yeah, that's such a good point. Okay, so what I was going to say is sort of the opposite. I get really excited when we're talking with clients about referrals and they talk about having an internal hub, like an intranet sort of thing of client stories or success stories they've had so advisors or teammates or just anyone in the sort of sales or business development position can tap back into reminding themselves of what they've done for clients to get those stories going.
Lauren (03:03):
Yes.
Tiffany (03:04):
Yeah, some sort of resource internally.
Lauren (03:06):
Totally.
Tiffany (03:07):
Yeah. I feel like it can be easy to forget what you do, like you said, on a human level. So I guess maybe it is sort of the same. We remember what we do on a tactical day to day but we forget how it's impacting people.
Lauren (03:20):
Yeah, totally.
Tiffany (03:24):
Okay, well, first of all, I just said firms and things like that, but as I mentioned at the beginning, we serve financial services across the board. So we want to talk today a little about not only the RIA space but also payroll or banking because I know there's some compliance things going on, especially in the RIA space, SEC rules and things like that. But sometimes we can tap into other types of firms and companies to get some fresh ideas.
Lauren (03:55):
Absolutely.
Tiffany (03:56):
Okay. You're going to see me looking over here because honestly, like I said, this comes up all the time in our client conversations. So we have some super nitty gritty questions.
Lauren (04:07):
Do it.
Tiffany (04:07):
So I think the reason this is such a big topic is because a lot of times word of mouth is the top source of referrals, and so we talk with firms, we re-strategize at the end of the year looking into the new year, and it's like, okay, well if this is working, we should do more of what's working. That's the logic. But then how do we actually do that? What's the next step? So yeah, I guess that's the first question. Big picture. How do we get more clients to refer business to your company?
Lauren (04:47):
So I was given some advice a while ago that I felt was really beneficial, which is, okay, well, this seems like an obvious marketing play, but you have to know your target audience, right?
Tiffany (04:59):
Yeah.
Lauren (05:00):
So with that, and this is probably no surprise to any listener, the people who are going to refer you business are the ones who are really, really close to your target market, where they're a trusted ally. So it could be in a consultancy. We see CPAs, we see other business owners. You think about the payroll space or 401(k) space referring — this is someone I worked with, a trusted resource. If it's in the advisor space, it could be that one of their current clients has a friend but they're a trusted partner. So when you think about your COIs, you might have a lot of contacts but that doesn't necessarily mean they're really, really close to those specific COIs, or excuse me, your specific client. So the first thing to do is kind of audit your list.
(05:52):
Start to go through your list and ask yourself, is this a true COI, someone who’s literally a trusted resource back and forth to my prospective clients? And if not, that's okay. You can put them on the network list or community list or something like that but your true COIs are the ones you're going to want to nurture. And when I say nurture, this might sound weird from a marketer but that doesn't mean you're going to put them down this drip campaign that just feels automated.
(06:20):
It’s got to come from a genuine place because again, a referral is coming from a place of trust. So these are the people — you might have a blog post you wrote and you're like, oh my gosh, it makes me think of, I don't know, John, who's a consultant at so-and-so, and this was the exact thing we're talking about yesterday or last week. Let me shoot that over to him. It might be meaningful, or you want to add value. These are the people you're going to want to check in with on a regular basis. If they're coming into town or you're going to a conference, you're going to want to make an effort to see them. You're going to want to add value to their lives and be able to stay top of mind. So be really clear about who your referrals are or who your true COIs are that could actually refer business. And frankly, it might only be a half a dozen people, and that's okay.
Tiffany (07:04):
It's not very big. That's what we hear all the time. So I also think it's important to really narrow down that target market too, because from the client referral side of things, you could start getting people to refer, but if they're not your target, if you're not your ideal, then you're just getting in business that doesn't feel good. So I think that's going to be part of it too, is making sure you're really narrowing down not only who's going to give you a referral but also that they're referring the right type of people so you don't get frustrated. So then the big question is always, do we just ask clients for referrals? How do we go about that?
Lauren (07:49):
It can be kind of awkward, right?
Tiffany (07:52):
Yeah.
Lauren (07:53):
Super awkward. I like to say sometimes that the best marketing is the marketing you don't even know you're being marketed to.
Tiffany (07:59):
Yes.
Lauren (07:59):
I say that with referrals because sometimes it feels really awkward. Are you ready to send this email? Do you know anyone who can work with us? It just feels awkward sometimes and it feels, I don't know, disingenuous or it's like emotion, like a transaction. So I think part of it is you have to own the intuition for when's the time to write, ask for that referral, and it might be a conversation you're having with someone and they just said, we're just so grateful you helped us see these things we didn't see about our financial situation, or you just helped us make our payroll processing so much easier. Or now I have access to this loan. I'm just so grateful, and it's like, I'm so glad we were able to help you with that. That's an opportunity to ask. We're in a stage of looking to help others. Let us know if there's anything we can do, or we're having this event and do you want to join? Do you know anyone else who could join? It's got to come through an authentic value add. Sometimes it's about the timing and when to ask, and not just this transaction of, okay, every quarter I'm going to send an email that asks for referrals.
Tiffany (09:10):
Unless that's right.
Lauren (09:12):
Yeah, unless that's right for your business. What do you think about that? Because it's kind of awkward, right?
Tiffany (09:17):
Yeah, I think you were hitting on something a second ago, which I think is part of it too. Sometimes I feel like you don't necessarily have to ask for the referral but sometimes people don't know you want a referral. So I love how you said, so the conversation is going, oh my goodness, you helped us so much get this loan and now our business is growing or payroll finally is working, whatever the thing is, you finally helped us through this thing. I think that's an opportunity to say that's what we love to do. We love to do that for people, and we'd love to continue to do that for more people. If you ever hear of anyone, I mean, it could just be that simple, but I think it's framing it less in can you send us a referral and more that's what gets us excited. That's what we love to do. We'd love to do more of that. That's the impact we want to have in the world. It's almost like going back to your mission statement or something.
Lauren (10:12):
Totally. It's this opportunity where your passion shines and you get to say why we love doing that, and it's exactly what you said. It'll just sound like a broken record. Yeah, yeah.
Tiffany (10:26):
But I guess part of that, Lauren, is it's not a marketing tactic. It really has to come from the culture of the firm. So that's something we've worked on with a lot with clients. How do you build that referral culture within the firm or the company or just how do you make that a thing without becoming a salesy team?
Lauren (10:51):
We've talked about culture champions before here within our own company, and being able to set those tones to be able to model examples. I think that's one thing. If there's someone who’s really kind of championing that or leading that to be able to put that on a public spotlight, like an all-hands meeting or maybe through an award of something and calling out and seeing that's a model for what others can do, and having that regular drumbeat of values and having that be really showcased. I know here we do shoutout channels on Slack. We are really honoring and celebrating different things people are doing to really live out that culture and those values.
Tiffany (11:30):
Also, sorry, can you put a pin in that? Because also in those channels, I think it's a matter of calling out again, what makes clients happy. I'm just thinking of some examples. We just built a website. The client raved every time we're on the call with them, they love the new website. So it's always reminding the team, they love the design, they love the look and feel. They love how easy it is to use those specifics so it's built into the culture of oh, that's what we're really good at. We're really good at these things that make clients happy.
Lauren (12:01):
Yeah, totally. And then I think hitting it from what I'll call a business KPI perspective. We talk a lot about Net Promoter Score and really talking about client satisfaction and showcasing those kinds of numbers, why it's important, and then letting that waterfall into things like the shoutout channels, the culture of really raising up what our strengths are, and so on and so forth. So those are ways, I think, also helping folks on this is a very tactical thing but getting into a pattern of awareness around what content has gone out.
(12:39):
And what I mean by that is maybe a really great podcast on a certain, I don't know, end of year charitable planning went out that could be really beneficial to a lot of your clients. Or maybe there's some upsell sheet or something like that that somebody else has seen success with, and they can tell that case study, sharing that with the group and encouraging other people to share, to be able to stay top of mind with others to be able to add that value. So I think culturally, internally sharing those as we were talking about earlier, those success stories, but then arming it with content that can be leveraged to be able to further narrate the why or the upsell or whatever it might be.
Tiffany (13:24):
Yeah. So I feel like that's a really important dive inside of the tactical side of things. I have some specific questions of what we see haven't worked, but one thing that can work is like you said, value add type. So we wrote a really good blog post and making sure your clients are seeing that if it's, again, on point to their target and their pain points and things like that, your target market, their pain points, your solutions, but just making sure you're getting it in front of them on a regular basis, whether that's in your newsletter, making sure all your clients are in your newsletter, or maybe somebody who's in the business development seat is sending a one-off, but hey, if you know anyone who could benefit from this. We're working with a client on this right now, actually, I can't say what it is, but they help people in sort of a certain emotional time of life, and they've written a whole guide on it, and they've broken it down into some emails and social posts and things like that. And it is very much like, okay, you might not need this but you might know someone who needs this. And so it's not like we're asking for a referral but it's a free resource that could help somebody through this sort of emotional time, and then at least they know this firm exists. Right?
Lauren (14:47):
Totally.
Tiffany (14:48):
They wouldn't have known before.
Lauren (14:49):
It makes me think about, I'm sure you've received, or others who are listening have received this. So have you ever gotten, this feels a little old school, but a snail mail note from someone, like a card or a clip from a newspaper or something.
Tiffany (15:03):
Open me up, your aunt cuts out the newspaper.
Lauren (15:07):
Yes. Like a mentor or somebody and they wrote something to you that just really stood out to you, or this article made me think of you, and you're like, if I got those, I was like, wow, this person, they really took the effort. They thought of me. I mean, honestly and stuff I've kept some, and it meant something. And the same thing can happen by just taking the effort. You have to put in the effort. It took effort to put in that note, sending a warm note to someone to be like, this made me think of you in our conversation and blah, blah, blah. That feels so authentic and genuine. And that's basically the same thing. It's just making the effort to be able to leverage something you saw that could help somebody at this stage of their lives.
Tiffany (15:54):
Yeah.
Lauren (15:55):
That's a feeling.
Tiffany (15:57):
So then it's helping clients be able to do that as well. So send it to your client, Bob, and hopefully he knows, oh, Sarah could really benefit from this. And so making things easily shareable and forwardable and all of that. Okay. Here's a deep tactical question. So putting at the bottom a newsletter, forward this to a friend, have we seen any impact with that?
Lauren (16:21):
No. Don't waste your time on it. So we've tested it, we've seen it. We've had clients who say we have to do this, and we literally tested it for a hot minute over a year. It's going to be at the footer of the email. We've seen it in all different forms and fashions. The click rate on that is not totally zero, but pretty close to it. It's very low.
Tiffany (16:46):
Referrals have to not feel like a tactic. I think that's the reality.
Lauren (16:50):
That's it.
Tiffany (16:50):
Yeah.
Lauren (16:51):
That's it. I mean, it feels like an easy thing to pop in there, but people want to refer because they want to help somebody else. Right?
Tiffany (17:03):
There it is.
Lauren (17:04):
They trust you to make them look good, and they want to make sure the person they're sending in is going to actually add value. If not, then it starts to erode that trust. So that's part of it. It's a very high trust kind of thing, and that's why you can close them faster, because if you are crushing it, not just the close, but actually the longevity of the relationship, then it's going to keep paying itself forward. And that person who referred is going to keep referring because they know whoever they're going to refer in is going to be taken good care of. They know they've been taken really well care of.
Tiffany (17:44):
Yeah, absolutely. Okay. So what about invite a friend type of events, like client events you can bring a friend to? Thoughts on?
Lauren (17:57):
Slow to close.
Tiffany (17:59):
Yeah.
Lauren (17:59):
But yes, that is a tactic you can deploy. What have you seen in talking with clients too?
Tiffany (18:08):
Yeah, I mean, I feel like it has to be, I mean, if you look at the numbers, the steak dinner type of thing still works. So I mean, it's still out there for a reason, but I do think more creative thinking around it is more effective. So again, going back to your target market, and I don't know, special events, curated types of events, special experiences and opportunities people wouldn't have otherwise. So it doesn't feel like a sales pitch, but it feels like, oh, this company I work closely with got us this. I don't know, art, I can't think of anything. Right? But this museum, the art museum opportunity, so we go and talk with the museum curator or something.
Lauren (18:57):
A behind the scenes kind of thing.
Tiffany (18:59):
I think that's effective or more effective of, or also just, sorry, thought I had an example come into my mind, so the other thought just went away. But the other one is networking. So if you're serving all doctors, if doctors are not a good example, and a lot of professionals are not because they don't have time.
Lauren (19:25):
They’re busy.
Tiffany (19:26):
But if there are other people, basically like salespeople or other people who need to network.
Lauren (19:34):
Things like that. But going back to the doctor example, it could be like CE credits or something like that. You were able to pair with somebody that can have a ripple effect.
Tiffany (19:43):
And learning events. We have seen work really well. So not just the standard steak dinner, retirement planning, but deeper emotional retirement planning, how to choose a retirement home, those or retirement living situations, those types of things where it's true learning. I think those can be effective as well. Then you're like, yeah, I should bring Sally. She's been wondering about this.
Lauren (20:10):
I mean, the key to all this I feel is you're actually impacting someone's life in a positive way. It's a value add.
Tiffany (20:17):
Yeah.
Lauren (20:18):
It's, I thought of you when I read this and I thought it might be beneficial in your life, or maybe someone else who went through a similar situation, or if it's inviting them to an event that makes them feel special, you're adding value, and that's what we want to do. We want to be able to add value, create impact, make a difference. That's the stickiness to the relationships too.
Tiffany (20:41):
Yeah, absolutely. The reason my thought got stuck, I was thinking we have a real estate company we worked with. I mean personally, not at, but they always have their standard events every year, so on Thanksgiving, all their old clients get a free pie and things like that. I don't know how effective that is. I've never been to one of those but I think the more effective ones are the experiences. They do a summer barbecue movie on the big screen for the kids, that kind of thing. Those are probably more effective or like, oh, this would be a fun thing to go do. And then you bring a friend.
Lauren (21:24):
Totally. You say top of mind and you're like, this person's not been in my life for a long time but they keep adding value in my life. And then when somebody else has a conversation, this is a great group to talk with. So especially if you had a good experience to start with.
Tiffany (21:38):
Exactly.
Lauren (21:40):
Okay.
Tiffany (21:42):
Anything else we should cover? My dogs have decided they need to eat right now, or they have opinions on referrals, so hopefully they're not making too much noise. Oh, I know what I was going to mention too. NPS scores. I feel like those, and I think you mentioned in our notes here, so I'm going to take it away from you, but Google reviews, asking for other things that might just kind of trigger referral thinking. So can you fill out this NPS survey or end of your client survey? Things like that can kind of just trigger around it.
Lauren (22:23):
So that brings up a point I think is worthwhile to distinguish. I feel like when you talk about referrals, right? There's almost like two parts. There's like how do you ask for the referral and then the nurturing of your COI. So a great way, I feel like to nurture, I'll call it COIs and clients, is be able to stay top of mind, ask for something. It could be what have you. It just creates an opportunity to be able to showcase that “I'm thinking of you” sort of thing. The asking for the referrals is, I feel like if you were going to put these into a pie or something like that, you're going to want the nurturing part to be 90% and the asking to be 10%. But the ask feels like it's done in a way where it's genuine. So optically it feels much more like nurturing than asking. You know what I mean?
Tiffany (23:12):
Yeah.
Lauren (23:13):
The ask will come naturally sort of out of it. At least that's kind of my vibe of it.
Tiffany (23:16):
I agree.
Lauren (23:16):
So yeah, I think that's a good way to just stay top of mind if you finished your relationship, you hadn't asked for anything in a while. You want to ask for a referral. You can do that. Another thing that sounds, I don't know, maybe might sound silly, but we're getting ready to send our holiday cards and I realized last year we sent some of the holiday cards to “no man's land” and they were returned.
(23:45):
I was like, well, we better get the addresses. So we're spending some time this year reaching out, literally asking in a form, what's your address? And going through both referrals and community it's cool because people are like, we're getting conversations going. It's put some meetings on their calendar. It's just being top of mind. It's another way to nurture contacts in a way where it's like, we're thinking of you. We want you to know you're part of our circle, and I'm going to make the effort to not just send you a holiday card but start a conversation leading up to it. So little things like that.
Tiffany (24:24):
I think that distinction is really important, that it's not just the ask but how are you maintaining a relationship?
Lauren (24:32):
Or even recently, there's a group we've been building relationships with and they have events, they throw sponsorship events and they're like, we want you to join. It's going to be in your area. Come, and they're like, this will be great for you because we are rubbing shoulders with your natural network. So it's that kind of stuff. It's like adding people in the fold where it's actually a value to them.
Tiffany (25:01):
Yep. I think that's the big takeaway: are you actually bringing value or are you just asking for sales?
Lauren (25:07):
Yeah. Are you just a transaction?
Tiffany (25:08):
Yeah. That's the big difference.
Lauren (25:10):
Oh, that reminds me. I think a lot of people think they need to send tons of trinkets.
Tiffany (25:15):
Yeah.
Lauren (25:17):
It can be good to stay top of mind, something out of the box but trinkets aren't going to close the referral. You have to still do the outreach.
Tiffany (25:30):
Yeah, I agree. And maybe we can link it in here, but also just if you are going to do gifts, make sure they're meaningful. I know we just worked with someone with a NAPFA article. We've been sharing that one, which is really good. We'll link it here too, but just making sure gifts are actually meaningful and thoughtful and not just like you said, the latest trinket.
Lauren (25:52):
Yeah, totally. With your logo all over it. I don't think anybody wants that, you know what I mean?
Tiffany (25:59):
Yeah. Maybe they do. If they work for you.
Lauren (26:00):
Yeah, you're on the team.
Tiffany (26:02):
Maybe we love our stuff, but not everybody wants an Out & About mug and things, so cool. Okay, so what's your number one takeaway? That's always the main question. What do I go do? That's one thing.
Lauren (26:17):
Make it authentic, make it real. Come from a place of authenticity. I don't know all these different ways to slice and dice it, but yeah, if you're going to ask for a referral, I guess let's just put the ask aside. It's important to nurture. Just come from an authentic place of nurturing and adding value first, and then the referrals they'll follow.
Tiffany (26:40):
I love that. Yeah. I'd say something similar. Just make sure you're bringing real value to your marketing and to your relationships and all the things, and then I think it'll go from there. Yeah. Awesome. Well, anything else we need to cover?
Lauren (26:59):
We can be here for a while. I feel like we go on all kinds of rabbit holes, so we better wrap it up. Or else we'll just be recording all day.
Tiffany (27:04):
All right, well, thanks everyone for joining us. My dog is about ready to knock over the computer, so hopefully he doesn't.
Lauren (27:13):
He's a big dog just for everyone's reference. He's not a pup like a little guy.
Tiffany (27:19):
He's excited we are done.
Tiffany (27:23):
Well, thanks everyone for joining us. If you love this conversation and want to see more, hear more, make sure you go to outaboutcommunications.com/community. Sign up for the newsletter there. Speaking of value, we're always trying to make sure we're adding checklists and downloadables and all kinds of stuff in those monthly newsletters. So yeah, make sure you sign up for that and we'll keep the conversations going.
